In Driving News...

People here can't drive.

Before any Little Rockian that may read this gets upset, just.... just wait.

I moved here from DFW... pretty much the capital of bad driving (behind Houston.... I thought...and anyone from Tennessee). I battled 635, 35 and Beltline on a regular basis. I know bad driving. I spent a long time after I moved out of small town East Texas to DFW trying to control my road rage. With Little Rock being smaller than Dallas... I assumed that the number of A-hole drivers would go down, too.

Nope. Little Rock wins.

I live and work in West Little Rock - so I rarely have to get on the highway anymore. Typically, when I do finally get out of West Little Rock, it's because my husband and I are venturing out together and he is driving - so I pretty much try to ignore the driving aspect of the journey. I take residential roads to my job... I eat lunch at home usually... I have my own corner of LR here. I like it.

Last week we helped Couch Amanda move from WLR to the Heights (closer to downtown, for those of you who are unfamiliar). She even has her own couch that we packed up (awww). Her dog, who occupies my backyard at least once or twice a week (her name is Kota), was staying with us during the morning of the move because, as Amanda said "she knows your backyard and those smells". We were done by 2 with the big move. Couch Amanda provided pizza and beer.. and then we took naps.

I had an appointment at 4. I was backing out of my driveway at 3:40 when she came to get her dog from our backyard (which always bums Pete out.... Pete digs Kota). I waved and kept going. I had places to be.

I'm less than a mile from my exit, when I saw this asshole driver move from the inner left lane allllll the way over three lanes of traffic without a signal into the right lane. This was... I guess 4 or 5 cars ahead of me. I just shook my head... as I had already done 3 times on my short drive because that's how it goes here. Ignorant driving. Traffic lights are just a suggestion... lane stripes don't matter. Blinkers? What's a blinker?

So... this A-hole driver is a few cars ahead of me now... and they exit where I'm exiting.

I get a little closer to this jerk.

A little closer, again. I recognize this dent in the left back bumper....

Then I see Dakota's little head pop up from the passenger seat.

THAT IS AMANDA. THAT IS MY ASSHOLE DRIVER.

Yeah. I was leaving my house as she was getting there... and she managed to get in front of me? What?

I've said this to her face before, so I'm not going to hold back: she is a terrible driver. Imagine the worst female driver you know: she is that PLUS she is Asian. It's bad. The bad part: she thinks nothing of it. In her mind, she is a fine driver. Every time she hits the road.. I get nervous for her. And anyone that may cross her path.

The first time I rode somewhere with her - our friendship was new and I was nicer. Now, when she offers to drive I laugh and tell her how much I value my life. And my limbs. And not having to be medicated.

I immediately called her (which I realize now was not really going to help ANY of this... plus it was going to distract her from "driving") ... at this point I'm right behind her. She would never know because mirrors don't matter to her (in the car).  I can see her digging into her purse for her phone. She missed the call and then called me back real quick just in time for me to turn off the street and away from her. I recapped the whole thing for her... naturally, she denied that it was as bad as I was saying - but just trust me: it was. It was bad.

I'm not trying to say that I'm the BEST driver... but I did attend the David Carlile School of Driving.. so... I'm at least slightly better than the average driver. (that one's for you, Dad).

So... with all this negative Couch Amanda driving talk... I am also going to mention this:
My year and a half long streak of not hitting any idle objects with my vehicle is over. Except this wasn't totally idle...

When it thunder storms here, as it so often does, we put our big dog in his bed - which happens to be in the garage. He is terrified of thunder. If it's nasty weather during the day when I need to be at work, the garage is the best option because Shep is not to be trusted in the house alone (I recall a missing Sonicare, chewed up hot rollers, a destroyed vanity and missing makeup. HE ATE MY SONICARE).

So... he doesn't mind being in the garage - but he hates when I open the garage door to back out. I'm sure it's the noises and the headlights and the rain... but I hate soooo much to hear that dog cry.

I jumped the gun the other day. As soon as I hit my garage button, I slammed it in reverse and.... caught the garage.. Yeah...All to avoid hearing my Shep cry.

It's not so bad... the husband shook his head at me and said "it'll buff out". Hopefully the Jetta is still going to get her facelift soon... even though my not driving into things streak has started over.

4 whole days!