The Garage Sale

We had a garage sale Saturday.

With my cousin joining in AND my friend Riley (and even a few items from Couch Amanda).... so this was like a three family ordeal.

Friday night came and I was still hauling things from upstairs that had been in boxes since we moved into our home (err..... 10 months ago). I'm not really much of the "preparation" type.... so much so that I feel the need to put quotes around the word "preparation". My cousin, Julie, is TOTALLY the opposite of me. I think I even called her a freak at one point....


For weeks leading to the garage sale she would sporadically send me a text asking about the sale.... and I guess I didn't think much of it - until Friday night when she showed up all organized. It took her about half the time it took me to set up. Her items were priced, color coordinated AND had her initials on them. Brilliant.

My father-in-law once told me that "organization is often mistaken for genius"... I suppose by people like ME. :)

So - we busted open the wine and had a pricing party. Anything with the word "party" at the end must be fun right? ha. My feet hurt before the garage sale even started!

Saturday morning came - HELLO 6:30! We got busy quickly and it never occurred to me that it would freak me out to see people touching my clothes and shoveling through items that were in my home hours before.... Riley and I had this little conversation - let me just tell you.. the expression on her face was so.serious..... she meant it.

M: ... I didn't think it would weird me out like this to see people going through my things - but this is kind of chaotic.
R: Oh, have you ever done this before?
M: ... No
R: I took an anxiety pill before I came over.
M: All I've had is a cup of coffee
R: Yeah, this is more of a Xanax thing than a coffee thing. (while she said this... she touched my arm. I told you, serious!)
M: oh..... (then I ran inside to correct what I had obviously done wrong)


Things went a little more smoothly once I got my game face on. Minus the part where a little girl asked me how much a bracelet was - I told her - and she proceeded to steal it - it was a profitable day! We definitely made more than I thought we would. It didn't hurt that we had some big things to sell... a lap top, a washer/dryer... our sanity.

Anytime the husband could tell I was getting tired and ready to pack up he would just say "go touch the money".

It's hard to get out of that "What else can I sell" mode. I am still catching myself walking through the house thinking "... I could sell that for $7!". Maybe that will go away soonish.

Just keep swimming

I think I need a vacation.

Rephrasing that: I need a vacation.

This whole working for a living thing is for the birds.

Nah - it's not really that I don't like working... although work has been stretching me pretty thin here lately (although I mean figuratively, I WISH physically...). I've been coming home exhausted most days - and, as a naturally happy person - maintaining my smiley attitude has been difficult as of late - which makes me a little disappointed in myself. I would like to think I'm one of those "push through the storm with a positive attitude" people - but this... this is a long storm. As long as I remind myself that it's temporary - I'm okay. It's when I get caught up in the drama of it all and the negative thinking spiral begins.... eh... you get it.

I really would just EAT UP a few days off... away... somewhere in the mountains by a lake - or on the beach or on a giant bed in a cabin with lots of good food and a few easy reads..... and of course, the Mister :)

He still gives me butterflies.

It's nice.

We were in a long distance relationship for a year before I moved to Little Rock. We tore up the roads between LR and Dallas...

Today we met for lunch and both went the same direction for a while when we had to return to work (which doesn't happen often because he works on the other side of town and I always eat lunch at home) - but there was a moment where he had to exit and I stayed on the freeway - our cars were getting farther from each other  - but were parallel... we waved... and my heart fluttered. I guess that is never going to go away. There were so many days and nights that we had to drive away from each other like that - waving... counting the minutes until the next time we would see one another. That was the most difficult, wonderful, exciting time. I'm thankful for not having to live that way anymore!

So - I got off track... but I don't really know that I had a track tonight....

No vacation in sight for now - so.. I'll "just keep swimming... just keep swimming.. just keep swimming, swimming, swimming" :)

Heart. Attack.

um, have you ever had that moment where you're just SURE you sent an email to the wrong person and it's definitely going to have some negative repercussions? I had that. Just now. I'm still having to stare at the message details and make sure it didn't go to the one person it shouldn't have.....

I can't give details right now. But I will later. And this will all make sense.

HEART. ATTACK. beatingSOfast.

Too many episodes of Cup Cake Wars makes things look easy.

It's been a crap couple of weeks.

You can probably tell what kind of post this is going to be. I would bail out now if you aren't up for "hearing" me whine.

It's been a couple weeks that just... make me feel like a failure. Like I keep missing my chances at something that could be a turning point. I've managed to sabotage two possible turning points in exactly one week. Wow... only one week. I thought it was more than that. It's been a longgggggg week. Kind of a 2fer. Not the good kind.

Last week at work I was sent to Memphis to do some field training. I've always worked with new employees at my job - one on one - to get them acclimated and, hopefully, good at their job while maintaining a positive attitude... but I've never worked with a group of people at once using a curriculum..so this was going to be new to me. I was up for the challenge, mainly because I'd never met any of these people and I knew what I was talking about... the subject wasn't foreign.  The short version of the rest of this story, without giving too much away about the company I work for.... , is that my opportunity was sort of taken - and I feel like I should have voiced that I wanted to do it anyways - it was someone wayyyy over me that decided to teach the class that day.

If you don't know about my job... the nutshelled story: I work in property management mainly focusing on resident retention. The properties I work with are kind of rough.. and the residents tend to burn me out - they're just hard people... hard people to please... hard people to make smile... just... difficult - so I've been trying to get away from being in the front office dealing directly with residents, and I prefer to work with employees and internal situations...

It felt like my opportunity to finally be out of that front office may be coming... and BAM... it went right by me and all I could do was frown and wave a sad little wave. I'm still not sure what I could have done differently... but probably something. I know this is vague - but in the event that the owner of the company reads this, I've not put anything negative about my job... but he'll probably ask, since I just said that. Oh, geez.

Next turning point (I know, I need a new term for "turning point"): I've always had a secret little dream to open a bakery. Maybe a girly bakery that sells breakfast and tasty goodies and local artist items/jewelry and custom cake stands... I may have given this SOME thought.  Now, don't let me fool you: I don't know the first thing about doing this... but it's just always been there in the back of my head. Well, I've recently started talking about it. Out loud... not just in my head... and to my husband/friends/parents... my mom's reaction "::laugh:: I didn't think you bake that often..." Well... I do! Ask my husband (and his co-workers... who usually have to eat what I make so I can get it out of the house). My problem is I'm not that great at making things PRETTY. I can make them tasty and edible.... but making it pretty has always been my problem. I'm getting better... or so I thought.

Earlier this week one of my friends asked me to make a goody basket full of yumminess for her boyfriend and have it delivered to his work (the chick version of sending flowers... send him something to eat). I agreed because I thought this could be the start of something. Everything would go smashingly and I would make a delicious, beautiful basket full of heavenly treats... she would tell her friends and I would have people calling for me to do this all the time.

Uh, not so much.

I couldn't get my frosting right. I don't know why. I don't typically have this problem... but today, for reasons I don't understand, it wouldn't get RIGHT. God has a sense of humor.

Next: the white chocolate that I melted to cover the truffles in wasn't getting runny (ew...) enough to coat my candies without being clumpy. I bought a different brand than normal... but I didn't think it would make a difference. Oh, it did.

I also made snickers popcorn... for the first time. Let's just say it didn't look like the photo.

Now, my friend, being the sweetheart that she is, will tell me it's fabulous and they'll talk about how ghetto the whole thing looks when they're alone. I will not have people calling me to do this all the time.

Today was my day off because I worked saturday... All I wanted to do was clean the house.

I made a huge mess in the kitchen and my laundry is still in a large pile(s) at the end of the bed. UGHHHH

I just feel a little like I suck at life.

Maybe my friend will let me have a re-do and I will make things better.

Maybe I'm just going to go to sleep now.

Last thing: I've been working my butt off (.. I wish literally) to lose weight. Working out sometimes twice a day.... I haven't been eating THAT badly... I have gained weight.

Okay, bed.

Change.Dreams.Love.Happy.

If you had told 5 years ago Melanie that she would be (so very happily) married and living in Little Rock, Arkansas soonish... she would have rolled her eyes, laughed and probably taken a shot of vodka (I had a vodka phase about 5 years ago...).

When I was in high school, my cousin worked for Hendrix (still does...), but she - on several occasions - attempted to strike up conversation that involved me possibly attending Hendrix College... I remember telling my mom I wasn't interested because I would never even CONSIDER living in Arkansas. Ohhh Irony, how I love thee. The minute I graduated high school I was out the door and in DFW.

Being the stereotypical Texan that I am, this is how my map of the US went:

I really loved college. I loved it so much that I had a "victory lap" - actually, it was just half a lap. One extra semester (but don't worry, my dad still found a way to work in the fact that that I had been there so long I could "be mayor" into conversation). My plan was always to stay in Dallas... probably North Dallas, and have some super fabulous life that would eventually lead to having a credit card specifically for shoes and a closet that was a showroom for said shoes. In these fantasies I never had a job... odd....

I met my husband in the middle of my junior year of college. For several reasons that would require another post to get into detail, people freaked out when I fell for him. By people I mean almost everyone I know. Except for my sister. I knew a couple of weeks within meeting him that I loved him. I didn't know how or when or what was going to happen - but I knew I had to be with him. To be honest, it freaked me out a little too.

Now, keep in mind that I had my heart set on being a very "important" city girl. I had tall buildings to live in and plenty of late nights out left - I thought.

There was only one way I could ever be with my sweetheart.

I had to do the unthinkable and move to Arkansas. I remember talking to a friend about this and she literally said to me "... but where will you buy your makeup? Do they even have malls there?" hahahaha

We didn't really talk about it too much because the conversation always came to a dead end: He had a son. I would never ask him or even think that he would leave his son and come away with me to live my city girl dream. 

A few days after graduation, I decided that I was moving to Little Rock. A few days after I decided to move to Little Rock, he proposed (on top of Pinnacle Mountain New Year's Day... so romantic!). He was waiting on me to make a decision so that I didn't feel pressured (isn't he the sweetest thing ever? yes, yes he is).

First we lived in Hillcrest - which was super cute and close to downtown. The downside: our adorable little cottage was a gazillion years old and required a lot of maintenance. Now we live in West Little Rock - we love our home... it's still a work in progress, but it's come a long way since we bought it. I thought it would bother me to live so far from downtown... it does NOT. I love it out here! It's a quiet neighborhood... we even have neighbors that are NICE. Nice neighbors... how interesting.

We have a new dream: to save up, build a not-too-big house on a fat piece of land that is nowhere close to anything. With a wrap around porch. And lots of windows.

WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?

I'll be the first to admit that I didn't like it when I moved here. My first year here was really hard - and I had moments of "WHYYYYYYYYY am I here?" quite often. I was strictly here because I had to be with him - and by then I was also in love with my step-son... he is a special little boy with a big place in my heart. When people asked me how I ended up in Arkansas, I would just giggle and say "oh, that man I married!". But now I say "I like it here." - and... I do. It's nice here. Minus the 100+ degree weather, I don't really have any complaints... I'm really happy here - which is something I was afraid would never happen when I first got here.

What I want has completely changed. My dreams have taken a turn... I don't want the same things. I used to think it was so strange that my parents would stay home even if they were given the opportunity to do something "out". I. Get. It.

This is the first weekend in a long string of weekends that I get to be alone with my husband in our house with absolutely no plans. I could not be more excited (right now I'm listening to him snore in unison with the dog... kind of the exclamation point to my... point).

The thing is, there is nobody else I could do this with. I could only want this dream with my husband.

I really love what we have.

Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart.

I love this photo - in case you can't read it, the note says "I didn't know there was joy like this. I love you". That, along with a small box containing some beautiful earrings, came to me on our wedding day while I was getting my hair did.