Too many episodes of Cup Cake Wars makes things look easy.

It's been a crap couple of weeks.

You can probably tell what kind of post this is going to be. I would bail out now if you aren't up for "hearing" me whine.

It's been a couple weeks that just... make me feel like a failure. Like I keep missing my chances at something that could be a turning point. I've managed to sabotage two possible turning points in exactly one week. Wow... only one week. I thought it was more than that. It's been a longgggggg week. Kind of a 2fer. Not the good kind.

Last week at work I was sent to Memphis to do some field training. I've always worked with new employees at my job - one on one - to get them acclimated and, hopefully, good at their job while maintaining a positive attitude... but I've never worked with a group of people at once using a curriculum..so this was going to be new to me. I was up for the challenge, mainly because I'd never met any of these people and I knew what I was talking about... the subject wasn't foreign.  The short version of the rest of this story, without giving too much away about the company I work for.... , is that my opportunity was sort of taken - and I feel like I should have voiced that I wanted to do it anyways - it was someone wayyyy over me that decided to teach the class that day.

If you don't know about my job... the nutshelled story: I work in property management mainly focusing on resident retention. The properties I work with are kind of rough.. and the residents tend to burn me out - they're just hard people... hard people to please... hard people to make smile... just... difficult - so I've been trying to get away from being in the front office dealing directly with residents, and I prefer to work with employees and internal situations...

It felt like my opportunity to finally be out of that front office may be coming... and BAM... it went right by me and all I could do was frown and wave a sad little wave. I'm still not sure what I could have done differently... but probably something. I know this is vague - but in the event that the owner of the company reads this, I've not put anything negative about my job... but he'll probably ask, since I just said that. Oh, geez.

Next turning point (I know, I need a new term for "turning point"): I've always had a secret little dream to open a bakery. Maybe a girly bakery that sells breakfast and tasty goodies and local artist items/jewelry and custom cake stands... I may have given this SOME thought.  Now, don't let me fool you: I don't know the first thing about doing this... but it's just always been there in the back of my head. Well, I've recently started talking about it. Out loud... not just in my head... and to my husband/friends/parents... my mom's reaction "::laugh:: I didn't think you bake that often..." Well... I do! Ask my husband (and his co-workers... who usually have to eat what I make so I can get it out of the house). My problem is I'm not that great at making things PRETTY. I can make them tasty and edible.... but making it pretty has always been my problem. I'm getting better... or so I thought.

Earlier this week one of my friends asked me to make a goody basket full of yumminess for her boyfriend and have it delivered to his work (the chick version of sending flowers... send him something to eat). I agreed because I thought this could be the start of something. Everything would go smashingly and I would make a delicious, beautiful basket full of heavenly treats... she would tell her friends and I would have people calling for me to do this all the time.

Uh, not so much.

I couldn't get my frosting right. I don't know why. I don't typically have this problem... but today, for reasons I don't understand, it wouldn't get RIGHT. God has a sense of humor.

Next: the white chocolate that I melted to cover the truffles in wasn't getting runny (ew...) enough to coat my candies without being clumpy. I bought a different brand than normal... but I didn't think it would make a difference. Oh, it did.

I also made snickers popcorn... for the first time. Let's just say it didn't look like the photo.

Now, my friend, being the sweetheart that she is, will tell me it's fabulous and they'll talk about how ghetto the whole thing looks when they're alone. I will not have people calling me to do this all the time.

Today was my day off because I worked saturday... All I wanted to do was clean the house.

I made a huge mess in the kitchen and my laundry is still in a large pile(s) at the end of the bed. UGHHHH

I just feel a little like I suck at life.

Maybe my friend will let me have a re-do and I will make things better.

Maybe I'm just going to go to sleep now.

Last thing: I've been working my butt off (.. I wish literally) to lose weight. Working out sometimes twice a day.... I haven't been eating THAT badly... I have gained weight.

Okay, bed.